Monday, December 13, 2010
...
everytime when things are finally starting to get better, it's always almost time for us to walk our own seperate paths. i wonder why. is god toying with me? realized a few things. realized why i supposedly call myself "keesiao" n act so. didnt realize it till i heard somebody saying tt about me. insecurity. i laugh to cover the insecurity. i laugh to hide the lonliness. i laugh to forget the sadness. i laugh not cos i want to. its cos i want to forget all my worries even if its just temporarily. i want to be "happy-go-lucky", at least thats what i'm trying to force myself to be. sadly, the luck doesnt come along with the forced smiles. i'm just a nobody. im glad tt my awesome senior gave me the position of SL, at least, i could do something before becoming a nobody. made my life at least abit more enjoyable cos im not a nobody. the moment i step down is the time i officially become a nobody in CO. n it's almost time. keeps screwing things up. maybe i shouldnt even go to taiwan for the competition. maybe i'll just be a burden. but maybe at least aftr dis 1 yr of hardwork. i should jus be selfish one last time. its not like anybody is gonna rmb me much. probably wun even rmb me at all. aftrall, im jus a nobody, an imperfect nobody. n once again, im entertaining myself with a blog nobody reads.
To: Myself
your gonna go back into being a nobody once again,
please enjoy yourself before that (:
it'll be anytime soon.
nites~ (:
posted by hahaha @ 11:58 PM
